01/23/00
i feel a sadness. i feel a deep sadness enveiling me, my eyes. i am blind. too blind to realize that the things that i surround myself with are fake. that i do not what that which makes me suffer. i feel an emptiness. some part where i can reach to and grab merely air. because there is nothing. and that monster, the one who constantly steals my hopes and dreams. he lingers to remind me that there is no other way than his own and he is wrong. i do not choose to continue this riddle or enigma, as so his life he has chosen to title. yet still. how can i pursue this thought? this want to cease it all. to let the stars crumble and fall. no electric current, no tears to drop. and yet, i know that in some deep part of me he will remain. the monster that has tied me down, dragged me into his lair his dungeon of tortures and mirages of happiness. i know i shall break free because everything has its end. i shall find my absolute freedom once again...someday...
11:39 a.m. - 2002-12-27
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