11/99
-i had a dream about you. a dream in which you died. i felt a sudden sadness deep within me. i could not imagine you gone, forgotten. i tried to hold back the tears and confusion, i looked upon a world that did not carry your face any longer. the wind does not carress your skin and the stars do not shine in your eyes. your lips do not create that enchanting smile. you were gone and i stood there asking you, wherever you may be, to heal me from your departure. to wrap your arms around me for who will now that you're gone? to hold me gently and whisper in my ear that everything would be alright. that no matter what happened, you would always be around. the only thing that dried my tears was the howling wind. it was crying for my pain. now the eyes are damp from the sadness, heart swelled from the aching, and the life is empty simply because you have disappeared from this world. now a non-existing world to me, only because you are no longer in it. i cannot find shelter in a wolrld that had betrayed me by taking my love. as my hand trembled, i thought of a better place. a place where my love would be. i would find him and mock the heavens for their failure. for trying to seperate us. the stars were my witnesses. they would shine my triumph. am i also dead? have i succeeded? surely i will see my love now. but why is it al so dark? why am i still confused and why does my heart still feel the aching? have i entered the wrong place? so i stand there and again i scream out to you, but you do not respond. again the wind howls for me. it hears my cries. i fall and enter my own dream. you have completely disappear from me and i have no clue as to where you are. death was the one who stole you away and i no longer want to live. so i fall, i fall out of my dream to slowly realize with a smile that you are by my side. that my dream of you was merely a dream in which i had woken from. your arms still hold me and for now sleep is the only one who claims you. i could not have had a better feeling of peace than at that moment. the wind ceaced its howlng and instead hummed my a lullaby so that i may join my love in dreams. reassuring me that when the golden rays steal the silver ones i'll wake in your arms to whisper that i love you and without realizing it, i know i'll be ready for when you die.
9:39 a.m. - 2002-12-28
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