my grandmother gave my mom a suitcase with a lot of my dad's things from when he was studying construction. i got home from work today and found it lying there in the living room. with an extra heartbeat and a lot of curiosity i sat on the floor and stared at it for a good minute. i remembered it clearly. i remember from the color of the suitcase to the smell it gave off when i opened it. loads of memories came running by only this time it was the good ones.

i leafed through every page taking in all the information, studying his writing and realizing how smart he once was, but i already knew that. he wrote a paragraph which i'd like to share with you. it was from a test that he took for the course.

"i have decided to become a heavy equiptment operator because in the past i have attended several different trade schools; from a soldier to a welder and from a musician to an auto mechanic but i have never found the personal satisfaction one would hope to gain from having a rewarding trade. in the past i had the opportunity to work with small tractors and loaders. that particular period of employment has always been the most rewarding and memorable of all and that is why i decided to become a heavy equipment operator. i'm proud of my decision. thank you."

you may think that what i just shared with you is insignificant but to be honest with you this is one of the only things i know about my father. this is one of the few things that i've read which my father has written. because he is deceased.

i wish we had a fresh start. i wish we had a chance.

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