2004-05-11

3:41 p.m. -- all unknown and never real


i have to write about this.

i have to write about how cheated i felt.

i have to destroy the final thoughts of you and i and the enchanting moments we had.

they were all lies, i know now.

what i hate the most is that i cannot hate you.

i only pity and see in you the lone, lost boy who never dared to grow out of his shell.

i once admired you.

and those desiring moments that were created.

it all came down to your denial and through it all, the choice of falling.

i would have stayed your friend.

i would have given you what you wanted the most out of me, and that was the art we brought out in each other.

yes, you brought it out of me.

i have not created since then, and i doubt i'll be able to create as i did then, now.

this all came to me in suprise.

i never imagined you'd fall to something so low.

i am disgusted.

i feel that which i never dreamt ever feeling, i felt betrayed.

although things were not the same when i realized your scheme or the "double life" you wanted to lead, i still thought the respect you had for me was genuine.

i was dead wrong.

if i knew then what i know now i would have never given you my soul.

overall, i feel sorry for you.

i wish you could help yourself.

i wish you had the guts to kill that demon in you.

it has now become a part of you.

and who knows, maybe that was really you.

bottom line, i do not know you.

i never did.

you are a stranger.

i may have dreamt you up.

maybe you're just some dream.

an empty frame.

last entry -- next entry

Samantha
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