You and I...
Me and you...
I guess we just can't let go. We had a great weekend together. I wish it could be that way every time. No drama, no negativity... just us.
I met your kids. They are wonderful, handsome young men. You met my little one... I don't understand why you came to my daughter's parade, and you bringing your sons, that threw me off the most as well. You wanted space, you wanted a break yet here you came, tearing through my own resolve to give you the space you need. I don't want to let you go but I had decided that it was what you were asking for... it was something you said you needed.
Then we spent the afternoon with our kids. I couldn't help but imagine what our life would look like... us with our kids, out and about. Then in the evening, you picked me up and our night was filled with conversations, looks, the feels... You wanted me and we ended up right where we always land... in each other's arms, forever tangled.
I did not go home that night, I can't believe the choices I make when I'm with you. But I love you and I can never get enough, so I push through knowing that doing so will continue to kill me since you still say we cannot be together. Our night became morning and we had breakfast, my coffee was too hot and you blew into it so that I could be able to drink it. I thought that was cute. Then, after I got home you told me you wanted to go back to the room because you had it reserved until this morning. I went over for a bit and we held each other. But I couldn't stay the night and I think that bothered you. It took ALL OF ME to leave you there, wrapped up in blankets, naked, vulnerable to me.
I should have taken advantage and taken you but I told you that's not all I want. And I wanted to prove that to you. So we stripped and just laid there. On the anniversary of our 1 year... still tangled together.
I love you. All of you, completely and irresponsibly. Blindly and unguided. With no window into what the future brings. Exposing my heart to you, uncertain of what you will do with it. I love you more even now, now that you have shared a piece of you with me, your sons.
What now, A? What do we do? Do you still want space, time, a break... Here I am... still.
10:03 a.m. - 2019-02-11
Recent entries:
Have You Released Me Too? - 2019-02-26
%%older_entries%%It Has to End, To Begin - 2019-02-23
%%older_entries%%Starry Nights - 2019-02-15
%%older_entries%%- - 2019-02-14
%%older_entries%%Adored - 2019-02-12
%%older_entries%%
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