today i almost thought i was going to go blind. i was sitting in my car when all of a sudden i start seing this light in my eyes. that sord of vision as if you've stared too much at the sun. anyway, it started to grow bigger until i could not see in my right eye. i freaked and thought i wold get a heart attack. my head started to hurt, i felt dizzy, it was the end. i made an appointment to see a doctor and after work i went. turns out it was caused by too much stress. it cause me to have a migrane and the blood vessels in my eyes did not let blood circulate therefor causing the blurr and me freaking the hell out.
on to a different matter. tomorrow is christmas eve and i have nothing to od. no work, no nothing. i plan to spend the whole day medatating. (i hope i spelled that right)
okay, this card outside my street is getting on my nerves. he seems to be driving back and forth with his matallica music very loud. shut up guy!!!!
what do i want for christmas? what i really want is to go see my dad's grave. it's in riverside which is not oo far. i may go some time. it's been a while since i've been there. i would like to go and read to him. take a stephen king book because it was his favorites and maybe even take a radio and play some santana. i could tell him how my life is going, update him on the family gossip, cry maybe. but in the end leave with a deep feeling of peace for i did something i would have never been able to do while alive.
what do you think? do i need a shrink?
11:03 p.m. - 2002-12-23
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