i have to write about this.
i have to write about how cheated i felt.
i have to destroy the final thoughts of you and i and the enchanting moments we had.
they were all lies, i know now.
what i hate the most is that i cannot hate you.
i only pity and see in you the lone, lost boy who never dared to grow out of his shell.
i once admired you.
and those desiring moments that were created.
it all came down to your denial and through it all, the choice of falling.
i would have stayed your friend.
i would have given you what you wanted the most out of me, and that was the art we brought out in each other.
yes, you brought it out of me.
i have not created since then, and i doubt i'll be able to create as i did then, now.
this all came to me in suprise.
i never imagined you'd fall to something so low.
i am disgusted.
i feel that which i never dreamt ever feeling, i felt betrayed.
although things were not the same when i realized your scheme or the "double life" you wanted to lead, i still thought the respect you had for me was genuine.
i was dead wrong.
if i knew then what i know now i would have never given you my soul.
overall, i feel sorry for you.
i wish you could help yourself.
i wish you had the guts to kill that demon in you.
it has now become a part of you.
and who knows, maybe that was really you.
bottom line, i do not know you.
i never did.
you are a stranger.
i may have dreamt you up.
maybe you're just some dream.
an empty frame.
3:41 p.m. - 2004-05-11
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