I always say that I won't do it anymore and then I fall and fail...
This past weekend hit me hard. Your refusal, your silence, your indifference is incredibly and undeniably the source of my despair and leads me to fall into the same routine. I drink to find numbness and to forget, yet my feelings are then amplified times three and I end up doing and saying things I later regret. I become her -- that devil, that monster.
And you? You just sit back, fold your arms and watch me bury myself deeper and deeper into this dark hole I can't seem to get out of. And worse, you don't care. You would rather watch me prove you right -- that I am wreckless and that I can't control my behavior when I drink and that as a result, you must punish me by pushing me away. But darling, you have yet to realize that you've been pushing me away, even with "good behavior". So what's the difference?
My love for you is killing me.
6:20 p.m. - 2019-04-09
Recent entries:
Will the Day Come? - 2019-04-21
%%older_entries%%Through My Heart - 2019-04-19
%%older_entries%%No Ordinary Love - 2019-04-16
%%older_entries%%Chocolate Eyes - 2019-04-15
%%older_entries%%Through - 2019-04-12
%%older_entries%%
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