The carousel never stops turning.
Our yo-yo keeps going. Back and forth -- here we go.
Friday afternoon, we have lunch again. You come down to meet me at work. I am thrilled, yet saddened at the same time... will this weekend mirror last weekend? When you met me for lunch on Friday last week, was it because you were anticipating not seeing me for the rest of the weekend? Will the same happen this weekend? My mind wonders... We sit next to each other in the booth, you are chatting away and I can only find myself staring at anything other than your face -- your chocolate brown eyes. Did I mention I am in love with your eyes? One hour comes and goes too quickly and we part. You say goodbye and all my mind and heart can do is question whether I will see you again soon.
So naturally, I ask you if we will see each other... you say you can't. Again, no explanation. Will you be busy Saturday? Your response is vague. I have plans to see my friends anyway so who cares, I remind myself. At least I'll be occupied.
Yet, I find myself in a bar just a few blocks from your home. Catching up with my friends and you're on my mind. I text you, ask you if you're out having fun. You tell me you're home reading... I thought you said you were going out, I respond. But you never said that, you said... then why say you're busy??? Why do you do this? Do you purposely not want to see me? Finally, I get you to come out with me and we find ourselves back at The Offbeat bar. There, we have fun again... we dance again and we have a great time. No mention about my drunken rant from Sunday. All forgotten???
I take you home and as we end our night, I take you in with my eyes... I am instantly drunk. The next day, we text back and forth... we agree to meet up later that night. We find ourselves within those four walls again where you are mine, all mine. You belong to me... completely.
It's close to 4am and I am getting ready to leave. You hesitate and then ask why I'm leaving. Do I have a curfew? I reply that I don't but I have things to do on Sunday. I feel that you are reluctant to take this response. We walk to our cars and you ask again if I don't have a curfew, why not sleep in and head out early. A, you think I don't want to continue to lie in your strong arms? You think I don't want to continue burying my face in your strong chest... hear the light drumming of your heart... listen to your soft breath??? I want to live there!! Fully!!! Every second of my life... I want to wake up next to you every morning and hear the sound of your voice and feel the gentle caress of your fingertips. I love you... still. But, I can't continue getting home the next day and allowing my daughter's to see that. Not always, anyway. We can save some of those all nighters when planned.
As we drive away, we come to a red light and I turn to my right and see you parallel to me. You turn and look my way and my heart breaks... for you have the saddest look on your face. I must be imagining this... why do you look this way? You wave and I smile... then we drive away.
Meanwhile, I get to see you at work today. You look dashing as ever. I try to look nonchalant as you walk by me and say hello. Does your heart beat as mine does, when you see me too? Does it want to jump out of your chest and run to me, like mine does?
7:42 p.m. - 2019-04-15
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Birthday Boy - 2019-04-29
%%older_entries%%Our Demise - 2019-04-26
%%older_entries%%Will the Day Come? - 2019-04-21
%%older_entries%%Through My Heart - 2019-04-19
%%older_entries%%No Ordinary Love - 2019-04-16
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