If I told my therapist everything that's been going on in my head, she'd think I'm crazy. Heck, I think I'm crazy. Because, if I told her how I really felt, I'd say this...

I still miss you like crazy... every day of every second. It's been 5 months since we've hung out. 5 months since I've touched you.

Then again, it's been 5 months that I've felt calm. 5 months where I'm at peace. 5 months where I am not anxious to know if I will see you or wondering who you are with.

I try to think of all the bad things that encompass you and our time together. All the hurt, all the rejections... all the pain you caused. Why am I holding on to a fantasy? That's even worse.

You have clearly shown that you do not care. Makes me wonder if you ever did. It doesn't matter, anyway.

It was never meant to be. But, I do yearn for those random nights of you and me...

12:49 p.m. - 2019-10-08