How many ways can a heart break?
You were no good. You were always no good. I knew that, and yet I still kept at it.
I was at the Management Conference in Indian Wells this past Thursday and Friday. And little did I know that one of your closest friends would be there. She was there with two other friends. I immediately zone in on her -- I have been envious of your friendship with her, so I naturally make my way over to say hello.
She doesn't know about us. At least, not that I know of. And it hurts that I'm not important enough for you to tell one of your closest friends. Still, my need to gain as much information about you forces me to wiggle my way into their conversation.
Later that night, she invites me to meet up with them at bar. I KNOW I should NOT be going.. you would be furious if you knew I was hanging out with friends. But I did. I should not have drank, yet I did.
They start talking about relationships... I say I am in a complicated relationship. I give detail about my mystery man... one of the friends bluntly asks, "Is it A...?. I am SHOCKED! I don't know what to say. How? How on earth can she think it's you when there are SO many men in this world? Why the eff would she say YOUR name??
My only thought... I was set up. They had to have known you and I were seeing each other. How else? I couldn't think straight and i immediately pretend i don't know what or who she is talking about. I'm confused... I'm scared. I went with the intention of getting dirt about you and the fucken tables turned on me.
We leave, and when I wake up I see at text... from you. Oh no. Here we go. You asked me who I went out with last night. I am evasive. You straight out ask if I hung out with your friend. I say yes and ask why do you ask? Apparently, one of those little jealous BITCHES texted you, at 12:35 am, while we're still at the bar, to say, "Hey I just met your new girl ". WTF????!!!!! Why would she do that? She stuck her nose where she has ABSOLUTELY NO BUSINESS! You tell me that you found it odd that this girl texted you this late. You don't talk to her anymore. So naturally, my skeptical mind is running... who is she to you really? Does she like you? Was she your lover in the past? Because this is the only thing I can think of. First, to be bold enough to text you at that time even though you both have not talked to each other "anymore", as you say. Second, she sounded jealous. You sent me screenshots of certain things she said to you. Not everything but enough for me to sense that you and this girl, at one point, were not just friends. She baited me... cornered me and when she got the information she wanted she ran and threw it at your face. BITCH!!!
You get very upset with me. "I thought we had an understanding that this thing with us is strictly between you and me", you say. You're angry. Why would I do that? You say... why did I ruin it?
At first, I'm devastated. I don't want you to leave me. I don't want you to end this. But I cannot help but also be upset. Why would this girl do that? What was her motive? And mostly, WHO THE FUCK CARES WHO FINDS OUT ABOUT US??? Enough hiding. Why can't you tell your friends, yes this is my girl and we are together??? I'm done hiding this.
I come back home, ask you if you want to catch a movie. You tell me no, and that we will no longer be seeing each other. How can you so easily discard me? I start breathing hard. My vision is blurry... I begin to perspire... I should be hurt yet I am angry. Angry that you play games. Angry that you care so little about my feelings that you are always turning us off. Well you know what?? FUCK OFF!
12:27 p.m. - 2019-05-05
Recent entries:
Angel - 2019-05-18
%%older_entries%%One Way Trigger - 2019-05-15
%%older_entries%%My heart - 2019-05-10
%%older_entries%%Colorado - 2019-05-09
%%older_entries%%Just like you - 2019-05-08
%%older_entries%%
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